Know that not everyone your age is in a relationship
If you find yourself constantly around couples, change up your social circles. Find more single friends who will not make you feel singled out (no pun intended).
Know that not every relationship is good
Smiles in person or in pictures does not mean there are no issues at home. I’ve personally known troubled couples who fake happiness to save face.
Healthy Seeking
Do what you love and meet people with similar interests
Play sports you like, go to museums you like, and do hobbies that interest you. If you meet someone there, you will already have something in common.
Go to places where your ideal mate may go
If you don’t want an alcoholic, don’t go to bars. If you want someone kind, volunteer. If you want someone spiritual, consider going to a religious gathering.
Healthy Interacting
Focus on being friends with as many people as possible
The foundation of any successful relationship is friendship. Also, some people who are not the right one for you may set you up or introduce you to more single friends. Another reason to focus on friendship is that some people may already be taken.
Never assume anyone is romantically interested
When we start fantasizing about futures with people, this can impact how we interact with them. It can even lead to disappointment if some person never pursues you. Keep it cool to avoid any awkwardness or anxiety.
Healthy Confidence
Be someone that others want to be around
Be attractive physically by tending to your appearance. Be attractive mentally by thinking of meaningful conversation ahead of time. Be true to who you are.
Be open to the pursuit of others
If someone wants to talk to you, that is okay. If someone wants to ask you out, that’s okay. Be open to possibilities. Also know when to say no if you are not interested.
Healthy Living
Don’t feel bad for wanting to find someone
Many people are looking for their special someone. It is not embarrassing to want to find someone or take steps to improve your odds.
Don’t feel like you need to stay with someone
If you are not happy with someone, you do not have to stay with them. You are not obligated to spend time with someone if you do not want to. We can make ourselves love all people, but we cannot make ourselves be in love with all people.
Healthy Breakups
Be honest with the person
You are only responsible for your actions—not the actions of others. Communicate how you are going to see other people and are not ready for commitment.
Maintain your reputation
If you had stuff on social media, take it down. If your friends ask about your former significant other, say you are just friends now and then quickly change the subject.
Healthy Dating
Set your expectations early on
Let the other person know your intentions and ask theirs. Also discuss physical boundaries.
Don’t commit until you’ve asked the hard questions
Never assume anything about anyone. Ask about religion, finances, career, education, kids, sexual history, addictions, guns, drugs, and more.
Healthy Courting and Marriage
Fix things before you tie the knot
If you want something, make your demands before you are committed for life. Feel free to tell someone, “I will not marry you until you XYZ.” It is your life and your choice.
Get pre-marital counseling
While you should have asked the tough questions earlier, counseling may bring up topics you forgot. Get squared away on every issue before you tie the knot.
Healthy Reality
Know that no two people are alike
Just because some people treated your poorly or did not meet your expectations does not mean you are doomed forever. There are more fish in the sea.
Know that you are enough
Relationships take time. Some people will never find their forever partner. Be happy with who you are so that relationship or not, you are complete.
Healthy Discernment
Note red flags when you see them
Some red flags are sexually suggestive dialog, talking about exes, being cheap with you while spending extravagantly on themselves, lies, and addictions.
Know that not every good action is sincere
Saying sorry and making up does not mean someone is sincere. Some domestic abusers mistreat women and then buy gifts to make up for it.
Healthy Modesty
There’s no sin in being beautiful
Aim for pretty, not sexy. Wear nice dresses and skirts that flatter you.
Be approachable but not flirtatious
Very few people will talk to you if you wear a sack and keep your eyes on the ground.
No comments:
Post a Comment