"The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands" by Dr. Laura Schlessinger

Despite the title, this book is not full of recipes.  Rather, it includes commonsense tips and advice for making husbands happy.  Dr. Schlessinger does not mince words when it comes to telling women the truth.  She cuts thru the nonsense and double standards to reveal the hypocrisies of many wives.  Emphasis is placed on treating men fairly, respecting a man in his home, encouraging a man, appreciating a man, caring for men, and being mindful of one's words.  If a man yells at a woman it is verbal abuse, but if a woman yells at a man it is normal--this is a double standard of hypocrisy.  The author explains how women are not such a prize that men will put up with poor treatment forever.  When the straw breaks the camel's back, worn down husbands will simply leave, whether that be physically, mentally, or emotionally.  In order to have a happy marriage, women must treat their husbands with the same respect they would a stranger.  Familiarity unfortunately breeds contempt, which is a destroyer of marriage.  If more women could learn to "not sweat the small stuff", "let it go", "forgive and move on", and simply be grateful for all that their men do, there would be a lot less divorce.  I recommend this book for any woman aspiring to marriage.  Forget planning for the wedding - plan for the marriage instead.

 

"The Surrendered Wife" and "First, Kill All the Marriage Counselors" by Laura Doyle

 

These two books have truly been life-changing in how I think of relationships.  Whenever there is any sort of conflict, most people's first instinct is to "consult the professionals" and "get counseling".  However, as Doyle and countless women have realized far too late, counselors often make matters worse instead of better.  Counselors don't truly know the whole story of a relationship and they focus far too much on the past / negativity.  Two people complain about each other in front of a stranger in hopes that the other person will be convinced the error of their ways.  All this does is breed animosity and hasten the divorce process.  As someone who's been down that excruciating road before, Doyle changed her strategy.  She asked women who were happily married for decades what their secrets were and the answers shocked her.  She understood that the only person a woman can change is herself--not her husband.  Despite women's innate desire to control, that translates into disrespect and lack of intimacy with a man.  To have a successful marriage, women need to learn how to let things go, trust the man they agreed to marry, express their desires without expectation, graciously receive with gratitude, and stop all attempts to "help" or "teach" a man.  Now of course there are exceptions.  No woman should respect a man's decision to beat her or have an affair.  However, if a man's decisions or actions do not physically cause harm or break any laws, it's in the woman's best interest to simply "let it be".  This is easier said than done, which is why Doyle offers an online course and professional coaches that help women be more respectful.  I wish I learned these skills years ago but am glad I learned them in my early 30s.  Having joined the Doyle online coaching program, I witnessed women well into their 40s, 50s, 60s, and beyond all struggle with collapsing marriages because they did not know how to be respectful.  No matter where you are in life or whether you are single vs married, I recommend reading these books to ensure a successful marriage in the future.