I had read the regular "Boundaries" book by these authors and loved it. When I saw there was a dating version of the book, I jumped at the opportunity to read it. The PhD authors have yet to disappoint me. This book not only has solid advice but also professional counseling to back it up (the authors are not those who just talk without any research). A few common themes pop up in this book. Of course, people should save sex for marriage. Religious beliefs aside, abstinence before marriage makes sense. As the authors explain, those who will not wait for intimacy have trouble delaying gratification and are not serious about their partner (if they were serious, they'd get married). The authors also talk about not losing oneself in the sense of cutting off friends, family, and hobbies. When there is an infraction in the relationship, the authors suggest setting appropriate consequences to improve behavior and ending the relationship when absolutely necessary. For example, if a date is consistently date, tell them they won't see you for X days because being punctual is important to you. If they learn and improve, great. If this goes on and on and on, there is a character issue and lack of respect. What I also enjoyed is the fact that the authors mentioned some people have their own mental and character issues. No matter how perfect any man or woman may be, if their partner is messed up, behavior and character will never change. This book is phenomenal and I would recommend it to those who are dating. There are Christian undertones in this book, but they aren't overdone. Also, due to the authors' PhD / relationship counseling background, their points are not based on the Bible and nothing else. They also back up their points with stories from clients (names changed of course) and clinical research on relationship psychology.
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