Tuesday, December 19, 2017

"Hiding from Reality" by Taylor Armstrong

Incredibly honest but also brutally sad, this book is a must read for anyone looking for a relationship.  While women will be most impacted, the lessons learned can be applied to any gender.  Having witnessed abuse in the home as a young child, Taylor had self-esteem issues.  She would push away men who adored her for fear of not being good enough.  She would chase emotionally unavailable men and hope to win their approval.  She won.  Taylor won the affections of her late husband who progressively abused her worse and worse.  From cursing to yelling to beating her physically, Taylor's late husband had her in a bad cycle of abuse.  Matters became complicated as Taylor had a child and began to appear on the Real Housewives reality television show.  The sadness of this book opened my eyes to a few things.  First, every woman is deserving of love and should NEVER tell herself otherwise.  Second, people need to go thru some sort of healing, whether that be therapy, books, classes, etc, before they get into a serious relationship with another person.  Third, no matter how good one partner is, the actions of the other partner do not change if they do not want to (a woman being perfect will not stop an abusive man).  Fourth, get full pre-marital counseling before marrying anybody.  There were so many instances where Taylor thought that if she were just a better girlfriend and later wife that her late husband would be nicer to her.  That's not how abuse works.  There were also times in the book where Taylor learned of her late husband's history of mental illness and domestic abuse.  While this book deals with abuse, I say that no one--man or woman--should stay in a relationship with someone else when they are unhappy.  There doesn't have to be any yelling or cursing or screaming to be unhappy.  If you are unhappy for any reason, communicate this.  If your partner does not change after given a chance, move on.  

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