"Love Factually" by Duana C. Welch, PhD

After finding a quote from this book on the internet, I just had to know more.  As someone who is an engineer by trade, I love facts and data.  Since the topic of relationships can be tricky, why not consult the science?  And that's exactly what this book does.  With candid humor, Welch explains the science behind what makes a relationship work.  While lots of people can give advice, the author's PhD and extensive list of references in the back of the book makes me pay attention a little more.  Welch talks about women's need for protections / provision alongside men's need for youth / beauty.  This ties in to not dating "out of one's league."  An example is a woman in her 50s who only wants to date doctors.  Welch points out that a doctor makes lots of money and can easily get a younger woman.  If the woman in her 50s was open to dating more different types of men, she may find someone who truly loves her for her.  Another example is the average-looking average-salary man in his 40s who only wants a stunning 20 year old.  The 20 year old with youthful beauty can get either a young good looking man her own age or an older man who makes more money.  For the man in his 40s to find love, he should start dating women closer to his age range.  While this may seem stereotypical, the science backs it up in the book.  Welch also discusses how men want to chase women.  While women love to be chased and be given attention, if they turn that strategy around on men, it will literally chase the men away.  I love the aspect of not settling.  If a woman is not being treated well, she should walk away.  There are also examples of men who sincerely want to commit to women but who are still undesirable.  One example is the wealthy man who wants to marry the beautiful woman...but keep the house separate, the bills separate, and exclude the woman from health insurance.  The woman ended up dumping the millionaire and marrying a plumber who, while he made less money, was more willing to share what he had.  Then Welch discusses the issue of commitment and BTNs (better than nothings).  Men who get easy access to intimacy and playing house (i.e.- premarital relations and cohabitation) have little to no incentive to commit.  And BTNs are better left dumped.  Wasting time with someone less than what you want / deserve degrades self confidence over time.  Women holding out on premarital relations / cohabitation also forces the man to decide what he wants.  So many woman nowadays are being used for intimacy / cooking by men who only view them as a BTN.  There are so many more facts in the book, and I encourage readers to give this book a chance.  The way the book is structured, it makes for a great reference once it's completed.  I anticipate going back to this book in the future.  Never settle and use science to find love!