Relationship Timelines

While there are always exceptions to the norm, there are some statistical averages for successful marriages as opposed to those which lead to divorce.  Note the years for each article as stats have changed over the years.  

“Replicating the Goldilocks Theory of Marriage and Divorce” by Nicholas H. Wolfinger (2015)

• The best age to marry is between 28 and 32.
• Why could this be? Before age 26, the brain is still developing. People are still dating around, deciding what they want, and forming life goals. After age 32, the bulk of the singles have already been taken. 

"The Divorce-Proof Marriage" by Olga Khazan (2014)

• To minimize your chance of divorce, date for 3 years before getting engaged.
• Marriage is a huge deal, so don't feel like you should rush into it.  Get to know your partner, have the difficult discussions, and get counseling.

“The Success of a Marriage” by Kaja Perina (2003)

• The best time for first date to proposal is 25 months (just over 2 years). This does not include time spent as friends or knowing each other before real dating.
• Why could this be? After about a year of solid dating, the couple should know enough to decide whether there is long term potential. In the second year, more serious discussions, trips to meet the family, and counseling can solidify the success of marriage.
• The time for first date to proposal that has the highest probability of divorce is 9 months (and marrying 6 months later), as well as at or after 3 years.
• Why could this be? Getting engaged after only 9 months and marrying 6 months later is rushing things. There likely will not have been enough time to make a wise decision. Also, infatuation wears off after 18 to 24 months.  As for the at or after 3 years, this usually indicates that the couple stayed together and delayed marriage for a long time. This is for a reason and likely due to some doubt about the relationship. Couples who wait so long to wed end up getting married because they’ve spent so much time together, they are getting older, all their friends are getting married, etc., even though deep down they are not a perfect match for each other.*
• This means that you are statistically the luckiest for meeting your future spouse between the ages of 26 and 30.
• In this phase of life, be yourself and make friends. Be patient and wait for a man to ask you out. If and when he does, be hesitant about making the relationship public / official. You are single until married. Four years is both a long time and a short time. If you are not 100% certain about a man, keep your options open. Otherwise, you may risk not meeting your perfect match because you are distracted with someone else. Also, common sense dictates that a man will not ask a woman out if he constantly sees her with another man or if her social media lists her as “in a relationship.” 
• Regardless of what society says or what’s in the media, do not have relations with men or live together before marriage. This will delay marriage (what’s the incentive?) and will likely leave you stuck (shotgun wedding due to pregnancy, staying for a lease, etc).

“Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others” by John T. Molloy (2016)

• Most men will not even consider marriage before 23 (HS) or 26 (college)
• The high-commitment period for college-educated men is from ages 28 to 33
• For men who go to graduate school (doctors, lawyers, etc) the high-commitment period runs from 30 to 36
• After age 37 or 38, the chance that a man will commit diminishes
• Most men will not even contemplate marriage until they have been working and living as independent adults for several years
• Once a man decides he’s too old for the singles scene, that part of his life is over, and he is more likely to marry
• If a man had even one long-term relationship with someone else, he’s very likely to be a stringer
• Men who have gone away to college or have worked in a different city are more likely to marry than men who have never left their parents’ home
• Men who look at marriage as a financial arrangement in which women have the most to gain are not likely to marry, nor are they good prospects—Run Fast!  
• Men whose parents divorced when they were young are often gun-shy about marrying.
• Men often marry women whose backgrounds — religion, politics, values, socioeconomic status  — matches theirs
• Men whose friends and siblings are married are more likely to marry
• If you wish to facilitate a trip to the altar, meet and date only the marrying kind!